For a long time, I have been wanting to write about the subtle differences between all the different sort of Romance Films that mistakenly all get lumped together under the blanket term, "Chick Flicks." Setting aside the fact that this is a highly offensive and duragatory term that should warrant the castration of whomever coined it, I would like to set the record straight. Are there movies that earn that horrid categorization? Sure. But not as many as you think. Let me clear this up for you.
Romantic Comedy: This is a film that both men and women can enjoy, whether or not it was originally geared toward women in the first place. The writing, acting, and comedy is so fun that you don't mind that it sticks to the same basic formula. The characters are memorable, and some of the moments in the film are iconic.
Examples: "When Harry Met Sally," "Pretty Woman," "Roxanne," "Splash," "Sleepless In Seattle," "The Wedding Singer," "Sixteen Candles," "Some Like It Hot," "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," "I Love You, Man," "Clueless," "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," "Bringing Up Baby," "The Holiday," "Spanglish," "Philadelphia Story," "Sabrina," "Ten Things I Hate About You," "Love, Actually," "High Fidelity," "Annie Hall," etc.
Woman Movie: These are smart, funny (or dramatic. Or both), movies geared toward women, celebrating the female spirit. Men can also enjoy these films, and will probably earn extra points with the ladies for making an effort.
Examples: "Fried Green Tomatoes," "Steel Magnolias," "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood," "Practical Magic," "All About Eve," "Yentl," "Muriel's Wedding," "Sex and The City" (Yes, the television show, too.),"Little Women," "Thelma and Louise," "The First Wives Club," "The Help," etc.
Romantic Drama: Like Romantic comedies, both men and women enjoy these films. Some of the greatest films of all time happen to also be romances. I know, it may shock you.
Examples: "Sense and Sensibility," "Breakfast at Tiffany's," "Casablanca," "From Here To Eternity," "A Streetcar Named Desire," "Pride and Prejudice," "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," "Chocolat," "Say Anything," "Shakespeare In Love," "Titanic," "The Bridges of Madison County," "An Affair To Remember," "Moonstruck," "Love Story," "The Graduate," "The Sound of Music," "Brick," "Roman Holiday," "Notorious," "The King and I," "Gone With the Wind," "Benny and Joon," "Garden State," etc.
Chick Flick: First, a disclaimer: I have heard this awful phrase uttered way too many times, and think it should be wiped from the face of the planet. But, since it seems to be a popular one that won't go away, here are some movies that I think may, in fact, deserve it. These films are so formulated, so cheesy and sicky-sweet that you feel as though a baby cupid is hovering over you, whacking you in the head with a giant ball of cotton candy.
Examples: "Win a Date With Ted Hamilton," "The Prince and Me," "Just Married," "The Wedding Planner," "Maid In Manhatten," "When In Rome," "Sweet Home Alabama," "27 Dresses," "Whatever It Takes," "She's All That," etc.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Milestone
On April 17th, 2012 (yesterday), I finally finished my novel, Albus Unus. I got the idea for this book when I was sixteen years old, and, though I had many ups and downs in the actual writing of the damn thing, I decided that I would buckle down and finish it before my 26th birthday, making it ten years since I started it.
A fan page for my book can be found here:
http://www.facebook.com/AlbusUnus
Anyone interested in more info or requesting a copy of the book can message me.
Next step: publication. But for now, I'm reveling in the moment. Champagne, anyone?
A fan page for my book can be found here:
http://www.facebook.com/AlbusUnus
Anyone interested in more info or requesting a copy of the book can message me.
Next step: publication. But for now, I'm reveling in the moment. Champagne, anyone?
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Oscars!
Some of my favorite Oscar highlights from this year:
Jonah Hill showed up with his mom as his date. I love it when men do this, because really, those are the women that have supported them through all the ups and downs of their entire lives. They deserve to be there.
Melissa McCarthy, as usual, looked gorgeous in her flowing dress, and she was so grateful to be there and meet all of these people that I could see tears in her eyes. She's a wonderful girl. She also had an hilarious bit with Billy Crystal midway through the program.
Oh, and Billy. Delightful. He was just a treat. A huge improvement on last year's hosting debacle.
I need to see The Artist.
Octavia Spencer's speech was a huge highlight. She was very grateful and emotional, and she got a standing ovation.
There was a cute bit with Melissa McCarthy and Rose Byrne shooting Grey Goose vodka.
I really loved the format, with the interviews with costume designers and makeup artists. The only thing the show was missing was more musical numbers, though I enjoyed the Cirque du Soleil piece.
Meryl won!!!! I was so happy. She looked so surprised. "When they called my name I had this feeling I could hear half of America going, 'Oh no, oh why her? Again.' But...whatever. First I'm going to thank Don, because when you thank your husband at the end of the speech, they play him out with the music, and I want him to know that everything (tears) I value most in our lives, you've given me. I just want to thank Roy, but also I want to thank--because I really understand I'll never be up here again--I really want to thank all my colleagues, all my friends. I look out here and I see my life before my eyes; my old friends, my new friends. And really, this is such a great honor, but the thing that counts the most with me is the friendships and the love and the sheer joy we have shared making movies together, my friends. Thank you, all of you, departed and here, for this inexplicably wonderful career. (Tears). Thank you so much. Thank you."
Here were some of my favorite quotes from the evening:
"I'd like to thank the movies. I know that sounds general, but it's very real to me."
"This is for my mother."
"We were just two swamp rats from Louisiana dreaming in our basement. This is grand. We love the movies."
"Loving movies comes from your gut, not your head."
"Once you experience the movies, you will love them forever."
"People who make movies are weird."
"You go." "No, it's Hugo."
"I'd like to thank everyone who has ever been born..."
"A year ago we were depressed, sitting in our editing room."
"I was just a kid from Niagra Falls who ate, slept, and dreamed movies."
"Life is full of grace. It brings us joy and happiness. Sometimes life is wonderful and life is that way tonight. Thank you for giving this to me."
"A great film never leaves you, it becomes part of your skin, your soul."
"I'd like to thank my parents for never telling me to get a real job."
"When I first emerged from mother's womb, I was already rehearsing my Oscar speech. Thankfully for you, I've forgotten it."
"This is why there's a buffet."
Jonah Hill showed up with his mom as his date. I love it when men do this, because really, those are the women that have supported them through all the ups and downs of their entire lives. They deserve to be there.
Melissa McCarthy, as usual, looked gorgeous in her flowing dress, and she was so grateful to be there and meet all of these people that I could see tears in her eyes. She's a wonderful girl. She also had an hilarious bit with Billy Crystal midway through the program.
Oh, and Billy. Delightful. He was just a treat. A huge improvement on last year's hosting debacle.
I need to see The Artist.
Octavia Spencer's speech was a huge highlight. She was very grateful and emotional, and she got a standing ovation.
There was a cute bit with Melissa McCarthy and Rose Byrne shooting Grey Goose vodka.
I really loved the format, with the interviews with costume designers and makeup artists. The only thing the show was missing was more musical numbers, though I enjoyed the Cirque du Soleil piece.
Meryl won!!!! I was so happy. She looked so surprised. "When they called my name I had this feeling I could hear half of America going, 'Oh no, oh why her? Again.' But...whatever. First I'm going to thank Don, because when you thank your husband at the end of the speech, they play him out with the music, and I want him to know that everything (tears) I value most in our lives, you've given me. I just want to thank Roy, but also I want to thank--because I really understand I'll never be up here again--I really want to thank all my colleagues, all my friends. I look out here and I see my life before my eyes; my old friends, my new friends. And really, this is such a great honor, but the thing that counts the most with me is the friendships and the love and the sheer joy we have shared making movies together, my friends. Thank you, all of you, departed and here, for this inexplicably wonderful career. (Tears). Thank you so much. Thank you."
Here were some of my favorite quotes from the evening:
"I'd like to thank the movies. I know that sounds general, but it's very real to me."
"This is for my mother."
"We were just two swamp rats from Louisiana dreaming in our basement. This is grand. We love the movies."
"Loving movies comes from your gut, not your head."
"Once you experience the movies, you will love them forever."
"People who make movies are weird."
"You go." "No, it's Hugo."
"I'd like to thank everyone who has ever been born..."
"A year ago we were depressed, sitting in our editing room."
"I was just a kid from Niagra Falls who ate, slept, and dreamed movies."
"Life is full of grace. It brings us joy and happiness. Sometimes life is wonderful and life is that way tonight. Thank you for giving this to me."
"A great film never leaves you, it becomes part of your skin, your soul."
"I'd like to thank my parents for never telling me to get a real job."
"When I first emerged from mother's womb, I was already rehearsing my Oscar speech. Thankfully for you, I've forgotten it."
"This is why there's a buffet."
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Headlines
So many things to write about, but since I am focusing on my novel, I'll just give the highlights:
My parents are ripping out my walls. Let that sink in for a minute. Yeah. I had to get drunk myself. Giant dance floors are important for mid-life crisis. Es.
I have no more best friend. Sure, I have good friends, but my epicenter has fallen out, so here I am, floating in space, feeling vulnerable and lonely, my only support the art I create as I sit alone at my computer, staring at a screen that shines far too bright in the dim light of my office space. I feel as though there's been a death in my family, and I daren't talk about it too much for fear of boring everyone. So there it is.
I am determined to finish the first draft of my novel by my 26th birthday. I started this damn thing when I was 16, so it's a ten-year project in the making. Still a lot of editing to do, but I will be proud when it's done. It is my secret, wild hope that someone, somewhere will fall in love with it and want to publish it. Since I know that isn't realistic, I will most likely self-publish and sell it to Kindle or Amazon. But I expect all my friends to read it.
Work on my movie continues, and we are inching closer to being finished shooting. I feel I look very fat onscreen, so I am looking to lose a few pounds. (Try 30.)
I get drunk just fine on my own now.
Watching an old classic like "When Harry Met Sally" in a movie theater, hearing people laugh at a movie they've all seen a hundred times, is like poetry. I love the movies. It's Oscar time...
My parents are ripping out my walls. Let that sink in for a minute. Yeah. I had to get drunk myself. Giant dance floors are important for mid-life crisis. Es.
I have no more best friend. Sure, I have good friends, but my epicenter has fallen out, so here I am, floating in space, feeling vulnerable and lonely, my only support the art I create as I sit alone at my computer, staring at a screen that shines far too bright in the dim light of my office space. I feel as though there's been a death in my family, and I daren't talk about it too much for fear of boring everyone. So there it is.
I am determined to finish the first draft of my novel by my 26th birthday. I started this damn thing when I was 16, so it's a ten-year project in the making. Still a lot of editing to do, but I will be proud when it's done. It is my secret, wild hope that someone, somewhere will fall in love with it and want to publish it. Since I know that isn't realistic, I will most likely self-publish and sell it to Kindle or Amazon. But I expect all my friends to read it.
Work on my movie continues, and we are inching closer to being finished shooting. I feel I look very fat onscreen, so I am looking to lose a few pounds. (Try 30.)
I get drunk just fine on my own now.
Watching an old classic like "When Harry Met Sally" in a movie theater, hearing people laugh at a movie they've all seen a hundred times, is like poetry. I love the movies. It's Oscar time...
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The Thing About Icebergs Is...
All right. All right. Let's get serious here. It's time to talk about some serious stuff. So I need you to put on your serious face. Wipe that cheesy grin off. All right. Here we go.
I hate soggy bread.
Honestly, is there anything more revolting on this planet? There is nothing worse than biting into your favorite sammich only to find that the bread...is...soggy. It's disgusting. It's nauseating. It's awful. Some people say, "just pick it off." No. No. This sandwich does not DESERVE for me to pick it off. This sandwich has failed me. I am breaking up with this sandwich. Goodbye, sandwich. Take your X-box and your crummy cd's and get outta here!
It's funny, our relationship with food. We depend on it. We love it. We can't live without it. But sometimes we HATE it. Bad food can just ruin your whole day, just ruin it!
Food can also help relationships with people. "Oh, man, I hate those guys, but they're makin' dinner, so...Yay!"
It's always kind of exciting, when a guy asks you to dinner, you know. "Ooh, let's go to Olive Garden and have some breadsticks!"
I don't have men who are "just friends." Unless they're gay. I love my gay men. Except when we go out and I all of a sudden find myself standing near a wall while they go after their "catch of the day." That sucks.
So back to relationships. Which is a funny word. It sounds like two people relating to each other on a boat.
I have, in the past, compared different kinds of relationships to different kinds of boats. I would like to do so again.
Paddle boats: The fun kind. You sit side-by-side, paddling away, it requires minimum effort, and is just plain relaxing.
Canoes: These require a little more effort, a little more synchronicity. And then if the canoe tips over, you're in deep...deep water, is what you're in.
Rowboats: Now, rowboats, are fine, as long as you're the one sitting under the parasol while the other person is rowing, maybe sitting there with your picnic basket, eating fried chicken or bon-bons or whatever, but if you're the one paddling, watch out. That is no fun.
Cruise ships: It is my belief that you can only be on cruise ships in relationships that are completely platonic, like a woman and a gay man, because ain't no way that any relationship that involves sex or romance is going to be as easy as floating around on a big-ass boat, listening to live music and gaining 20 pounds from the midnight buffet. Midnight buffet... "Yes, I'd like nine pieces of cheesecake to go with my ravioli and pizza." I went on a cruise with my family when I was 19, and when we left I didn't have hips or an ass, and now look at me!
One thing guys will do, instead of asking you to dinner, is asking you out for coffee. What is that? What is that going to lead to? I'll tell you what it's gonna lead to, it's gonna lead to me taking a dump in your apartment and blaming the smell on your dog.
I hate soggy bread.
Honestly, is there anything more revolting on this planet? There is nothing worse than biting into your favorite sammich only to find that the bread...is...soggy. It's disgusting. It's nauseating. It's awful. Some people say, "just pick it off." No. No. This sandwich does not DESERVE for me to pick it off. This sandwich has failed me. I am breaking up with this sandwich. Goodbye, sandwich. Take your X-box and your crummy cd's and get outta here!
It's funny, our relationship with food. We depend on it. We love it. We can't live without it. But sometimes we HATE it. Bad food can just ruin your whole day, just ruin it!
Food can also help relationships with people. "Oh, man, I hate those guys, but they're makin' dinner, so...Yay!"
It's always kind of exciting, when a guy asks you to dinner, you know. "Ooh, let's go to Olive Garden and have some breadsticks!"
I don't have men who are "just friends." Unless they're gay. I love my gay men. Except when we go out and I all of a sudden find myself standing near a wall while they go after their "catch of the day." That sucks.
So back to relationships. Which is a funny word. It sounds like two people relating to each other on a boat.
I have, in the past, compared different kinds of relationships to different kinds of boats. I would like to do so again.
Paddle boats: The fun kind. You sit side-by-side, paddling away, it requires minimum effort, and is just plain relaxing.
Canoes: These require a little more effort, a little more synchronicity. And then if the canoe tips over, you're in deep...deep water, is what you're in.
Rowboats: Now, rowboats, are fine, as long as you're the one sitting under the parasol while the other person is rowing, maybe sitting there with your picnic basket, eating fried chicken or bon-bons or whatever, but if you're the one paddling, watch out. That is no fun.
Cruise ships: It is my belief that you can only be on cruise ships in relationships that are completely platonic, like a woman and a gay man, because ain't no way that any relationship that involves sex or romance is going to be as easy as floating around on a big-ass boat, listening to live music and gaining 20 pounds from the midnight buffet. Midnight buffet... "Yes, I'd like nine pieces of cheesecake to go with my ravioli and pizza." I went on a cruise with my family when I was 19, and when we left I didn't have hips or an ass, and now look at me!
One thing guys will do, instead of asking you to dinner, is asking you out for coffee. What is that? What is that going to lead to? I'll tell you what it's gonna lead to, it's gonna lead to me taking a dump in your apartment and blaming the smell on your dog.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Holiday Drunks
So... different kinds of things are expected at different holidays. We all have our own traditions. But what about our drinking traditions/expectations?
St. Patrick's Day, for example, usually consists of this kind of drinking:
1-Get Drunk
2-Be Somewhere.
3-Possibly Survive
Halloween:
1-Get Drunk
2-Be Somewhere
3-Nail Somebody Dressed As A Pop-Culture Reference
St. Valentine's Day:
1-Get Drunk
2-Be Somewhere
3-Call Former Partners And Scream The Lyrics To "Private Eyes" At Them.
Christmas:
1-Get Drunk (Or Wish You Were Drunk)
2-Stay In
3-Deal With Family BS With Or Without Liquid Protection
New Year's:
1-Get Drunk
2-BE Somewhere!!!
3-Constantly wonder if what you're doing is fabulous enough to ring in the new year respectably.
St. Patrick's Day, for example, usually consists of this kind of drinking:
1-Get Drunk
2-Be Somewhere.
3-Possibly Survive
Halloween:
1-Get Drunk
2-Be Somewhere
3-Nail Somebody Dressed As A Pop-Culture Reference
St. Valentine's Day:
1-Get Drunk
2-Be Somewhere
3-Call Former Partners And Scream The Lyrics To "Private Eyes" At Them.
Christmas:
1-Get Drunk (Or Wish You Were Drunk)
2-Stay In
3-Deal With Family BS With Or Without Liquid Protection
New Year's:
1-Get Drunk
2-BE Somewhere!!!
3-Constantly wonder if what you're doing is fabulous enough to ring in the new year respectably.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Coming Out Day
Blerg, I totally missed "Coming Out" day yesterday! So I'll do it now:
I'M A BISEXUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There, that's done. I actually did come out to Heidi the other day. Because I thought it was about time. I'll come out to my mom and her idiot husband as soon as I feel like talking to them again. (Well, my mom. The only thing I feel like saying to her husband is, "get away from me, shithead.")
Today is a great day. :) For real. I love happy pills.
I'M A BISEXUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There, that's done. I actually did come out to Heidi the other day. Because I thought it was about time. I'll come out to my mom and her idiot husband as soon as I feel like talking to them again. (Well, my mom. The only thing I feel like saying to her husband is, "get away from me, shithead.")
Today is a great day. :) For real. I love happy pills.
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