My Horizontal Blog.

Hello, peoples.

So it's October. And the weather is LETTING US KNOW IT. Much to my chagrin. October does mean some fun things: Halloween, football, crisp, clear air that smells like sweet decay...

I HATE winter.

Anyway, this means I have a lot of time to sit inside and read stuff. I finally got my Salt Lake City Library card! And that means books, movies, and cds galore! Huzzah! So I just finished "My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands," by Chelsea Handler. She is hysterical. I've always enjoyed her various shows. She is a talented comedienne and apparently an even more talented author. Her memoir is spun with humor, heart, and colorful prose.

Next I hope to read Carrie Fisher's memoir, "Wishful Drinking." The cover made me laugh: Carrie in her Princess Leia costume, her hand clutching a spilling martini, a bottle of pills strewn before her. Awesome.

I also checked out a bunch of flicks, some I'd seen, some I have been meaning to watch forever.

"Say Anything." Though I knew of the "classic" status of this John Cusack film, (the one where he holds a boom box over his head as it plays "In Your Eyes) I had no idea how good it is. I expected a John Hughes teen comedy, not a drama about finding and losing love, young people experiencing their first adult relationship and figuring out what the "real world" means. It was touching, funny, and you gotta love John-John.

"Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask.)" Once again, I watch a Woody Allen hoping I'll finally develop a taste for the legendary film maker, and once again all I have to say is a big fat MEH. I mean, parts of it were funny, it was a good concept, but it just came short. Pun intended.

"Hamlet 2." Ok, this was brilliant. A film about a struggling actor who becomes a high school drama teacher to "pay the bills." He really is terrible. I won't give away too many plot points because it's definitely worth seeing, but some key phrases for your enjoyment are as follows: "time machine," "ovulation," "raped in the face," and, last but not least, "Rock me sexy Jesus."

"The Road to Zanzibar." I was raised on this series of movies starring Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and Dorothy Lamour. Though all the films have the same plot, (Bob is funny and Bing gets the girl) they are always enjoyable.

"Saturday Nigh Live: The Best of Will Ferrell." Yes, I've seen it a million times. Yes, it keeps getting funnier every time I see it. Favorites are "Harry Caray," "Lovahs," "Cowbell," and "Celebrity Jeopardy." If you haven't seen this, go out and rent it, sinner.

All I have to say is, outside it may be raining, but in here it's entertaining! (Thank heaven for libraries.)