Thursday, December 29, 2011

Holiday Drunks

So... different kinds of things are expected at different holidays. We all have our own traditions. But what about our drinking traditions/expectations?

St. Patrick's Day, for example, usually consists of this kind of drinking:

1-Get Drunk
2-Be Somewhere.
3-Possibly Survive

Halloween:

1-Get Drunk
2-Be Somewhere
3-Nail Somebody Dressed As A Pop-Culture Reference

St. Valentine's Day:

1-Get Drunk
2-Be Somewhere
3-Call Former Partners And Scream The Lyrics To "Private Eyes" At Them.

Christmas:

1-Get Drunk (Or Wish You Were Drunk)
2-Stay In
3-Deal With Family BS With Or Without Liquid Protection

New Year's:

1-Get Drunk
2-BE Somewhere!!!
3-Constantly wonder if what you're doing is fabulous enough to ring in the new year respectably.

2 comments:

  1. Ha ha! TBTL refers to St. Patrick's and Halloween (and to a lesser extent New Year's Eve) as amateur nights. As "professional drinkers" they like to avoid the hoopla and amateurs and stay in (or go to a grown-ass house party).

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