Dreams Never Die....They Just Morph.

When I was in high school almost every
kid I knew had a dream of succeeding in their working lives.

Some wanted to be doctors, others pictured a career in the law,
and some hardy souls still clung to their childhood fantasies of
being firemen or nurses.

And then there were we few, we proud, we happily dysfunctional -
who longed to be in the limelight.

Theatre kids.

I, of course, was in this latter group. As well as many others.

Well the incipient doctors, lawyers, firemen, cops and nurses
had a well defined path to follow. More school - where, over
time, their training and certification would lead them to the
fulfillment of their dreams - and a paying job.

We who dreamed of acting for a living, on the other hand, were
sent out into the world without a road map or compass, left to
our own devices, and frequently told by a fairly large number
of "well-wishers" that we "don't stand a snowball's chance in
hell."

But our dreams were ours, grandiose as they might have been,
and we were bound and determined to see them through. Despite
the warnings of failure, frustration, futility, and poverty -
most of us eventually made our way to the 'big city' in pursuit
of that fabled 'red carpet' and riches beyond compare. It was
on those mean streets that our dreams were tested and tried.

Now, some of us have concluded that the dream has died or is,
at the very least, on life support.

That's not really the truth (in my opinion).

The truth is that dreams rarely die. But, oh, how they change.

For instance, it's a well-known fact that not a few directors,
producers, casting directors and (God help us) DMV employees,
came to L.A. to act.

Along the way they discovered that the rejection - which is
an inherent part of a professional acting career - was just
too much to handle.

(I'm sure we all understand that feeling.)

So, they adjusted their dream - to conform closer to reality.

Many casting directors are actors who came to realize that they
loved watching other actors as much as acting itself. They found
that discovering a wonderful actor was almost as good as their
original dream - and so, they re-tuned their plans and desires.

Almost every director originally started the journey as an actor -
then found out that bossing actors around was pretty good too.

And, let's face it, "auteur" sounds much better than "thesp."

Many producers got 'the bug,' under the greasepaint - but soon
discovered that putting on a show had many of the same pleasures
and rewards as emoting themselves ... and so they zigged, instead
of zagging.

Not to mention the numberless electricians, carpenters, special
effects wizards and camera folks whose original goal was a career
"on the boards."

I'd be willing to bet you a cheap lunch that if you scratch the
surface of almost anyone working in Hollywood today, in almost
any capacity, you will find a dreamer who started with an itch
to be in the spotlight.

But we humans are an adaptable lot, and when whimsy meets the
grocery bill - we tend to accept 'reality' and (dare I say it)
settle.

The irony is that you'll also find many successful actors whose
original dreams had nothing to do with amusing the groundlings.

For instance, Denzel Washington studied journalism, Doris Day
was determined to be a veterinarian, Robert Redford wanted to
be a painter, and John Wayne was just looking for a summer job
to pay for college, so he could continue to play football.

All Julia Roberts wanted was live in New York City. And though
she had the height for modeling, when Seventh Avenue rejected
her - she turned to acting. (Mainly because her brother was an
actor.)

Clint Eastwood's dream was to become a jazz musician - a dream
that only came to fruition after he became a movie star and an
award-winning director.

In fact, my extensive reading of actors' biographies has led me
to the conclusion that many actors, who started with other goals
on their minds, were often more successful than those of us who
spent our every waking moment plotting, planning and pursuing
he dream of stardom with the persistence of Sysyphus.

What does all this mean?

I don't have a freakin' clue.

I've never understood things like destiny, karma, fate, or the
Bernoulli effect.

I do have a vague notion that no matter what you dream of doing,
circumstances will eventually force you to DO something - and
when you start to DO things... well, life takes on a life of its
own.

Above all, it seems crystal clear that dreams never really die -
they simply mutate.

In other words, worrying away at your dream is probably futile.

So it's probably a good idea to keep in mind the words of Douglas
Adams who said it so well: "Don't Panic."

But ... DO SOMETHING.