Dammit, I'm Dreaming!

Here's a 'golden oldie' ...

One of the big downsides of choosing to earn our living
as actors is the sheer number of people we meet who think
we should just give it up. Quit. Throw in the towel.

You know, when your friends look at you like you're nuts,
or when your family or significant other starts talking
to you, quietly, about considering another line of work.

There are even teachers, coaches and authors of 'helpful'
books who eagerly tell you, that what you are doing with
your life is a "crazy dream" (as if they knew you well
enough to have an opinion).

Something I've learned lately is, if you listen to these people - you are not
going to get where you want to go.

Here are a few folks one should listen to instead:

"Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to. If I take
a spill, it's me and not you. Who told you you're allowed
to rain on my parade?" ~ Lyrics from Funny Girl

"How much time he saves who does not look to see what his
neighbor says - or does- or thinks." ~ Marcus Aurelius

"Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin anyone who
wants to be ruined." ~ Josh Billings

This is what these pretty smart people are saying about
listening to other people with regard to your dream: It's
me, not you. Who cares what you think? You can only ruin
this if I let you.

Those people, the ones who are telling you to give it
up, may be perfectly well-intentioned - they don't want
to see you get hurt, let's say - or they just want to
make sure that you make a safe choice like grabbing a
good spot challenging world of retail shoe sales.

Or, maybe they're just mean-spirited bozos with nothing
better to do with their time. Their own lives are a big
disaster but they can't bother trying to fix it, so they
have the time to explain the 'facts of life' to you.

But this is MY decision.

This is MY life.

I am the one who has to DO what has to be done.

I know, more than ever now, that you should never confuse
someone else's beliefs (often wrongly called thoughts)
for your own.

Okay! Now that we've gotten past all the people who are
standing in our way - we're ready to 'go for the gold'
... right?

Not so fast.

There is one other person who simply refuses to get out
of your way.

Oh yeah -- it's YOU!

Yes, the only person who can stop you from realizing
your dream is YOU.

Do you know why you're the last person standing in your
own way?

Psychiatrists have loads of different answers to that
question but I only have one: We tend to stand in our
own way because we're afraid.

What are we afraid of?

A lot of things: Failure. Rejection. Success. Finding
out what other people think of us. Being wrong. Being
laughed at. Being the goat.

All of these fears and lots of others are all out there
waiting for us - but, in my not so humble opinion what
we're really afraid of ... what really keeps us from the
success we want - what builds those 'insurmountable'
walls of fear is ... CHANGE.

Human beings don't like change.

We try to play it 'safe.'

For instance, we often fall into a comfortable routine
of acting classes, showcases, and relationships with
people who never examine, question or challenge our
predetermined beliefs.

To be blunt, our careers fall into a rut. Our headshot
is 2 years old. We keep jobs we hate in order to pay for
our 'habit.' We've seen the inside of more dingy little
theatres than a 100-year-old fire inspector.

We keep doing it this way because we don't like change.

But, if we don't change, guess what? We are going to end
up like Wile E. Coyote, constantly buying into the latest
Acme product and hoping that this new gimmick will work.

And like that crazy coyote, we generally end up going over
the cliff - ker-flop - onto the canyon floor.

It gets old, real fast.

We all know, instinctively, what our behavior really means:
Actors who keep doing the same thing over and over again,
expecting to get different results, probably needs the help
of a mental health professional.

We insist on using a headshot that isn't working (getting
us called in) and keep moaning about the behavior of agents
and casting directors.

Look, no matter what you've been told, it's NOT a numbers
game ... it's a face game.

Or we go to 'industry parties' - networking like a frantic
insurance salesman at a retirement village.

Unfortunately, actors are
rarely hired at parties - unless they are already a known
commodity - or they're really selling 'companionship.'

Or we do unpaid gig after unpaid gig, hoping against hope
that Spielberg will show up one lucky night and carry us
away to the stardom we so richly deserve (because we want
it so much).

Always remember the ladder concept when it comes to success -
one step at a time. Bottom line? There are no shortcuts to
anywhere worth going.

After a couple of years of this merry-go-round, we get weary.

Unfortunately this weariness tends to make us cynical. (It's
the path of least resistance.)

The irony here is that this weary cynicism - which we take
on without complaint - is ... (wait for it) ... CHANGE.

Unfortunately, THAT kind of change will cost you your love
of what you do. It will also cost us our commitment to our
goal, our self respect, and - worst of all - the company
of actors who know cynicism (and associating with cynics)
can be a career killer.

My opinion? If you want better (different) results, you have
to get comfortable with CHANGE.

Because, not to put too fine a point on it, change IS going
to happen ... whether you like it or not.